thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
westbor0baptistchurch: Started from the bottom Now we’re here.
internetexplorers: errorsanitynotfound: internetexplorers: why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
stupid-fucking-rope: shagmestyles: There’s a drunk guy outside singing What Makes You Beautiful to a tree. So I opened my window and played the actual song and he just got so happy. He looked at the sky and yelled, “You’re beautiful too, Jesus.”
dave-vriska: jacklullaby: jacklullaby: unfollower: men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day OH MY GOD LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL’S ROOM BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY SAID EXACTLY IT “BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS” I’M NOT...
Have you realized that your age is the number of...
skinnyloovveee: justttshutupandkissme: fartgallery: I had a try at the cup song can’t breathe omfg every time I watch this it just gets funnier
dual-scar: dual-scar: my favorite part of halloween is finding the fake spider decorations all over the house afterwards and getting scared of them for a split second NOT A FAKE SPIDER DECORATION I REPEAT THIS WAS NOT A FAKE FUCKING SPIDER FUCKKFJDSFDSFDS
pairofjacks: A few days ago at school I was using the restroom when a few guys came into the restroom arguing loudly in Spanish. I stayed quiet and was going to come out of the stall when they left, but they all stopped yelling at once and knocked on my stall door, speaking Spanish. I said ‘sí’ and they all cheered, I dunno but I think I joined a gang
webbut: groovemeister-jared: lordoftheinternet: lacrimosa453: lordoftheinternet: nobody’s posting it’s quiet TOO QUIET I thougHT THIS WAS ME FOR A SECOND O_O
bullied: i like online shopping and putting everything i want in a cart then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab
kianlawley: 10knotes: tigursblood: my heart just broke in 9 seconds.. This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SDFGHJKLDIYUFT&IEUIL@E
my hobbies: browsing online shops and crying because I want everything I can't afford
soolooxcoopter: obesealpaca: When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know Those fries could be salted with tears So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through
fatherfistmas: allthestoriessaretrue: ur not a true fan unless you hang from the ceiling and spin around in circles, providing cool air for everyone around you
whymakswhy: ‘STACEY’S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN’ ON SHE’S ALL I WANT AND I’VE WAITED FOR SO LONG STACY CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE JUST NOT THE GIRL FOR ME I KNOW IT MIGHT BE WRONG BUT I’M IN LOVE WITH STACE-‘ ….Hello…sir…
I heard this great joke on Sims once...
applejackart: Ba harmy putar? GLARCH! I’ve seen this post three times now and I still lose my shit.
crayzeeness: ohwhatprovidence: ohwhatprovidence: one time, my sister accidentally sent a picture of her new dog to the wrong number and the recipient was real upset about it earlier this week, my sister realized that it had been an entire year. she had a new dog and thought he might want to see then her friend sent him a picture of her cat since he seems to really love animals i...
radical-illusion: theyellowbrickroad: when i was 14 i was really against drugs but all of my friends were into getting high so i went to whole foods and bought empty pill capsules and filled them with sugar and told my friends that it was a new drug named pax imported from africa and that my other friends older brother gave them to me and my friends pretended like they got high off of the...